Let the Games Begin
by PaBurke
Summary: Dick and Tim play keep-away with a certain doctor from New Jersey. House/Batman crossover.
1. Pregame

Pre-Game

By PaBurke

Disclaimer: No copyright infringement intended. I own neither of the universes nor the characters. I'm just playing because my beta is a cruel person who likes to throw ideas at me just to see what story splashes out and . . . okay so this was my idea and she begged and begged, but she can't manipulate like House.

That's my job.

Distribution: The Nook

Spoilers: All of JLU and Batman, and Batman and Robin are up for grabs. We'll say, before the end of Season 3 for House

Rating: If you can't watch House MD, go away!

Word Count: 500

"Dick, it's Barbara." The worried voice on the phone made Dick Grayson wake from a sound sleep and sit up in bed.

"What's wrong?"

"We need you to call off work for an undetermined amount of time."

The 'we' meant Bruce, the same person who hated being questioned. "Why?" Perhaps that's why he left.

"It's Tim. The Joker released something. Tim managed to explode all other samples before anyone else got infected. He's a little singed but nothing worrisome. The symptoms are too nebulous for us to identify and according to Joker, it's fatal. It's not showing up on any of the diagnostic equipment. We need a real doctor, a very good one, to look at Tim, diagnose him and come up with a treatment before time runs out. We're hunting down Joker on our end. Hoping to get some answers or even clues, but I'm not sure He can drag them out of that maniac. The Joker knows what Tim's death would do. He's in hiding and he's taunting…"

"What does He need?"

"You to take Tim –under an alias- to the Princeton Plainsboro Teaching Hospital in New Jersey. You should shortly be transferred to the care of Dr. Gregory House and his diagnostic team. If not, you need to make it happen. You and Tim will be brothers. All the paperwork is completed." She paused. "Will you do it, or do we need to come up with a different plan?"

Dick snorted. "The appearance of alternatives does not mean that there are true alternatives. I really don't have a choice. Don't try to manipulate me, Babs. I know what's at stake."

"I wasn't. Really." She did sound genuinely contrite. "I mean, I'm sorry. I can leave Gotham to Him and take Tim myself. I have the paperwork that'll pass muster, but you do look a bit like Tim."

Dick shrugged. "You can't help but become a manipulator after hanging out with Him for so long. If you leave Gotham to Him when He's in a mood… Well, it won't be pretty."

"Speaking of manipulating," Barbara said with a smile in her voice. "House is a master manipulator himself. You're going to have to out-manipulate him to get a diagnosis and keep all identities intact."

"Babs, you worry too much. No one even comes close to Him. We'll be fine." Dick was dressed and running a comb through his hair. "How long until you get here?"

Barbara didn't answer immediately.

Dick sighed. "You're outside my door?"

"Ten minutes away. In my defense, Bludhaven is on the way to New Jersey."

"Babs, you have to get away from Him. You'll only become a better manipulator the longer you're with him."

"Better?" Barbara teased.

Dick growled. "I'm hanging up so that I can call in to work."

"See you s…"

Dick hit the 'end' button and sighed. Once again, he was in Bruce's game and playing by His rules. No one could even come close to Bruce in the manipulation department.

*


	2. Opening Salvo

Opening Salvo

By PaBurke

Disclaimer: No copyright infringement intended. I own neither of the universes nor the characters. I'm just playing because my beta is a cruel person who likes to throw ideas at me just to see what story splashes out and . . . okay so this was my idea and she begged and begged, but she can't manipulate like House.

That's my job.

Distribution: The Nook

Spoilers: All of JLU and Batman, and Batman and Robin are up for grabs. We'll say, before the end of Season 3 for House

Rating: If you can't watch House MD, go away!

Word Count: 200

Dick and Tim talked the whole way to the hospital, getting their stories straight. They were brothers, moving into the area due to Dick's 'new' job at a Wayne Enterprises subsidiary. They had been driving for weeks, living in hotels. Somewhere along the way, Tim had bought some explosives. Last night, he had gone into the woods and set them off, narrowly missing his hand in one explosion. Now he was in this condition.

Dick hated seeing Tim in _this_ condition. He was listless, sore, hoarse and his color was funky.

"So how do you want to play this? Free clinic or ER?" Dick asked the younger as he pulled into the hospital parking lot. "Tim? Tim!" The boy didn't respond -unconscious. "ER, it is." It seemed that every option had been taken out of Dick's hands, like he was being manipulated at each turn. Dick parked near the emergency entrance, locked up the car –he could always come back for his laptop later-, scooped up Tim and sprinted for the door.

He was yelling as the automatic doors opened to admit him, "Help! Help me, please!"

In a strange way, he hoped that Bruce really was guiding the situation.

*


	3. Stealing the Playbook

Stealing the Playbook

By PaBurke

Disclaimer: No copyright infringement intended. I own neither of the universes nor the characters. I'm just playing because my beta is a cruel person who likes to throw ideas at me just to see what story splashes out and . . . okay so this was my idea and she begged and begged, but she can't manipulate like House.

That's my job.

Distribution: The Nook

Spoilers: All of JLU and Batman, and Batman and Robin are up for grabs. We'll say, before the end of Season 3 for House

Rating: If you can't watch House MD, go away!

Word Count: 300

He hated hospitals. Thanks to Bruce and his diagnostic equipment, Dick hadn't spent much time in any, but still... He hated that Tim was so ill, he hated that Nightwing wasn't in Bludhaven protecting the innocent.

He hated that he had to sit as one of Dr. Gregory House's flunkies gathered Tim's 'medical history' for discussion and dissection.

He hated this helpless feeling.

He hated that everyone in this waiting area was in the same boat.

Or almost.

The others didn't have the stealth nor the stash of micro-transmitters to stick one on the doctor and another on the clipboard that the medical history was attached to. The other concerned family members didn't have the technology to have said micro-transmitters transcribe every word the doctors said onto a laptop.

He knew that Bruce had his laptop wired. Oh, not that Barbara had said it when she had handed Dick the laptop and the transmitters, but Dick knew. Bruce would periodically be reading the doctors' conversations to keep taps on Tim's progress and to gain clues on how to track Joker. Knowing where the Joker had picked up the disease would help find the maniac.

Dick had a nasty thought that keeping track of Tim's health would only be secondary in Batman's mind.

No matter. This was just one advantage the Bat Family needed to keep ahead.

So Dick was only slightly chagrinned when the transmitter revealed that two of House's assistants were engaged –actively- in an affair. He considered erasing that knowledge, but Bruce would know and waste time finding the information that Dick had tried to hide for the doctors' privacy. Better all around to leave things be.

Dick placed his back into a corner and read the conversation. Would they figure it out in time to save Tim?

*


	4. Playing for the Other Team

Playing for the Other Team

By PaBurke

Disclaimer: No copyright infringement intended. I own neither of the universes nor the characters. I'm just playing because my beta is a cruel person who likes to throw ideas at me just to see what story splashes out and . . . okay so this was my idea and she begged and begged, but she can't manipulate like House.

That's my job.

Distribution: The Nook

Spoilers: All of JLU and Batman, and Batman and Robin are up for grabs. We'll say, before the end of Season 3 for House

Rating: If you can't watch House MD, go away!

Word Count: 300

Tim had been pulled to consciousness by the doctors, for which Dick would forever be thankful. However, it was slightly disconcerting watching Dr. House cross-examine Tim, trying to find gaps in their story. Even prepared and knowing that they were coming, lying to a man who believed that everyone lied made for an interesting game.

_It's not a game, Dick,_ he reminded himself. This was life and death, Tim's death.

It made it all the harder to remember the potential outcomes while listening to Tim banter with the doctor.

"So you bought the firecrackers from the back of some guy's car? And you didn't even look at his license plate?" House's tone of voice signified that he couldn't expect better from a stupid pre-teen.

Tim shrugged. "He wasn't asking to see my identification, I wasn't about to ask for his."

The female doctor –Cameron- spoke. "Firecrackers are very dangerous."

Tim grinned –for him, it was a wan smile. "I'm a boy." He eyed Cameron head to shoes. "We love things that go bang."

House smirked at the humor but continued questioning. "And where was your brother during all this?"

Tim coughed and then grinned again. "He was making _something else_ go bang. With someone he really doesn't want me to meet."

Dick stirred to protest. That wasn't their original story and not what he had told them. Then Dick realized that the doctors were looking for a lie and Tim had just handed them one. Dick was embarrassed that he hadn't thought of it before. Dick glanced at House.

The man seemed to read Dick's poorly hidden embarrassment.

Fine. Anything that would get them working on Tim faster.

But Tim hadn't needed to hand the doctors Dick's pride on a silver platter. He hated being thought of as so irresponsible.

*


	5. Personal Foul

Personal Foul

By PaBurke

Disclaimer: No copyright infringement intended. I own neither of the universes nor the characters. I'm just playing because my beta is a cruel person who likes to throw ideas at me just to see what story splashes out and . . . okay so this was my idea and she begged and begged, but she can't manipulate like House.

That's my job.

Distribution: The Nook

Spoilers: All of JLU and Batman, and Batman and Robin are up for grabs. We'll say, before the end of Season 3 for House

Rating: If you can't watch House MD, go away!

Word Count: 300

"Stop that patient!" The nurse yelled down the hall. Like every other hospital employee, House checked to see which direction the runaway had gone… and if it was his patient.

It was a patient hyped up on adrenaline that _somebody_ had administered. He was running in the direction of Tim Grey's room. Foreman said that Dick Grey was a cop and House wanted to see it. He expected Dick to come running out of the room and jump the guy. What he wasn't expecting was a cart from Grey's room to slide out at the most opportune time, making the runaway go flying, head over heels. Then Grey appeared and efficiently held the patient down. By the time the nurses took over, both hands were behind his back and Grey was no longer reaching for non-existent cuffs.

Yep. The elder Grey was a cop, which conveniently hadn't been written in the family medical history file.

The patient was led away. Grey returned to the private room. Foreman appeared at House's side.

"That's a cop," House said. He didn't admit that Foreman had had the idea first.

"That's not a cop," Foreman argued.

"Did you not see him reaching for his cuffs?" House replied snidely.

"That's SWAT. That's someone's prize up-in-coming SWAT leader." Foreman thought about it. "Or it's an undercover detective for the Mob or a Gang. He's more than just a cop. He's you in a police officer's uniform."

House gave his half-smile. "But I'm so much cuter." He dismissed Foreman from his thoughts. So the elder was a good cop, if there was such a thing. Someone, some station, was missing him. And he probably had some cases that he was keeping tabs on. Grey wasn't wasting time in the hospital, even if it was his brother ill.

*


	6. Second Place

Second Place

By PaBurke

Disclaimer: No copyright infringement intended. I own neither of the universes nor the characters. I'm just playing because my beta is a cruel person who likes to throw ideas at me just to see what story splashes out and . . . okay so this was my idea and she begged and begged, but she can't manipulate like House.

That's my job.

Distribution: The Nook

Spoilers: All of JLU and Batman, and Batman and Robin are up for grabs. We'll say, before the end of Season 3 for House

Rating: If you can't watch House MD, go away!

Word Count: 200

The drive, lay-up, and he shoots. He waited for the realization, the 'oh-no' moment. It was that split second where the ball was sailing toward the basket. But what should have been a 'nothing-but-net' response, and a signature on the dotted line for him to do a semi-risky test, was a brick. It fell way short.

The brothers grinned –actually grinned- and looked at each other. _Now_ he believed that they were brothers. Before, the surface similarities of blue eyes and dark hair hadn't persuaded him. The younger boy in the bed –what was his name?- coughed out a laugh. "Dick, you were wrong. There _is_ a close runner up to _him_ in the 'Most-Manipulative-Bastard' category."

Dick was shaking his head. "I can't believe it. You must get nearly every permission form signed with your cockamamie emotional manipulations. Why don't try again? And this time, give it to us straight and try to explain to us dunderheads what and why you want to do this procedure."

House frowned and started to explain the situation, using some of the most oblique comparisons as possible. In the middle of one sentence he blurted out, "What the hell do you mean 'Runner Up'?"

*


	7. Junior League

Junior League

By PaBurke

Disclaimer: No copyright infringement intended. I own neither of the universes nor the characters. I'm just playing because my beta is a cruel person who likes to throw ideas at me just to see what story splashes out and . . . okay so this was my idea and she begged and begged, but she can't manipulate like House.

That's my job.

Distribution: The Nook

Spoilers: All of JLU and Batman, and Batman and Robin are up for grabs. We'll say, before the end of Season 3 for House

Rating: If you can't watch House MD, go away!

Word Count: 300

House approached the crowd of people looking at his patient. "Cuddy's not paying you to stand around," he announced. The crowd disappeared quickly. _Cuddy_ remained, her eyes fixed on the patient's brother.

No, not the brother, but what the brother was writing on the window with a dry-erase marker: The House Family Tree.

The Grey boys were displaying _his_ family tree for all to see, albeit only if the observers could read backwards. House could and his blood boiled at the fact that his mother's two stillborn children were proclaimed to all, as were her illegitimate siblings. House hadn't known about his father's illegitimate sister, he wondered if his mother knew. All family skeletons were written in plain view.

House's patient was sick in bed; he had two IV's in and a nasal cannula. He was pale and running a fever. His mental capabilities were decreasing but the stubborn boy was searching on the internet with the older boy's computer. He would tell his brother which relative belonged where and the older boy would record it on the window.

House glared at the pair. He knew what they were doing: they were trying to unnerve him. It was an amateurish, obvious maneuver, but it worked.

He was flaming mad and not scheming. How dare they publicize his private life?

"Are they looking to see if you're related to them?" Cuddy asked curiously.

"No. Their father figure. Someone not biologically linked to either of them."

Cuddy winced. "He's a manipulative bastard too?"

"Worse, according to them."

"Cure the boy," Cuddy ordered. "Get them out of here before my nurses don't know which way is up. This hospital only has room for one manipulative bastard and I've made my choice."

House grinned, "Why Cuddy…."

"Can it. Hurry up and do your job."

*


	8. Earning that Ridiculous Salary

Earning that Ridiculous Salary

By PaBurke

Disclaimer: No copyright infringement intended. I own neither of the universes nor the characters. I'm just playing because my beta is a cruel person who likes to throw ideas at me just to see what story splashes out and . . . okay so this was my idea and she begged and begged, but she can't manipulate like House.

That's my job.

Distribution: The Nook

Spoilers: All of JLU and Batman, and Batman and Robin are up for grabs. We'll say, before the end of Season 3 for House

Rating: If you can't watch House MD, go away!

Word Count: 300

"Peru?" The older boy looked skeptical. "Tim's never been out of the country and it's been a while since I have."

"The firecrackers could have easily passed through the country," House responded. "Or they were brought over on a Peruvian tanker, or a tanker with a Peruvian crew, but _Tim_ has an illness that is definitely jungle borne. We've proved it and started him on antibiotics."

House waited. The brothers _should_ have been looking at each other to decide how much they believed. They didn't. They so were not brothers.

They _so_ were not surprised. They were just playing along to yank House's chain –or to give House the chance to gloat- and they weren't acting very well. The younger was practically ignoring House now that he knew that his days in a hospital bed were numbered and health was right around the corner. Tim was staring out the window at the Ducklings talking amidst themselves. "So where'd you learn to lip-read?" That had to be how the brothers knew what House's prognosis.

Tim smirked. The boy decided what response to give House. With that much consideration, there was a good chance it was a lie. "Self-taught," Tim finally said. "Too much time spent waiting outside the principal's office where he could look through the window and keep an eye on me. Then he was surprised when School Board secrets were well known around school."

House laughed out loud, if it was a lie, it was an entertaining one. "Cameron wants me to make sure that you've learned your lesson. No more things that go 'bang' without protection."

Tim grinned, but Dick was the one that quipped, "Don't worry Doctor, I'll make sure that he uses protection here on out."

House laughed again as this time Tim turned beet red.

*


	9. And It's Outta Here!

And It's Outta Here

By PaBurke

Disclaimer: No copyright infringement intended. I own neither of the universes nor the characters. I'm just playing because my beta is a cruel person who likes to throw ideas at me just to see what story splashes out and . . . okay so this was my idea and she begged and begged, but she can't manipulate like House.

That's my job.

Distribution: The Nook

Spoilers: All of JLU and Batman, and Batman and Robin are up for grabs. We'll say, before the end of Season 3 for House

Rating: If you can't watch House MD, go away!

Word Count: 400

This time when Greg House saw the congregation of hospital workers, he looked to see what his trouble patients were up to.

A lot.

Instead of writing House secrets up on the window, they weren't even in the private room. The two boys had obviously been released since an orderly was changing the sheets.

"Hey," House announced. "Who released my patient?"

Cuddy's voice was dry. "They released themselves."

"No doubt giving us a phony address and insurance card. Do they think we're running a free clinic or something?"

Cuddy didn't predictably bristle, she didn't even react. Those Grey boys had certainly messed with her head. House would have to work extra hard to be annoying today. Cuddy stepped away from the main nurses' station and in doing so, she un-blocked House's line of sight. There in the suitcase were dollar bills –large denomination dollar bills.

"Let me guess," snarked House. "They're non-sequential and unmarked, but actually paying what is owed destroys the Big-Bad-Mob or something-like-a-mob aura. The kid still has several treatments to undergo. Where is he going to get the drugs?"

"From our pharmacy. It had already been set aside for Grey's use."

"The older signed for it?"

Cuddy shook her head. "No. It disappeared off the shelves. And it is included on their bill."

House was impressed. "How did they sneak off with anything from the pharmacy? There's always a pharmacist there and they never turn their back on the drugs." He would know- he had tried.

Cuddy glared. If she knew, she wasn't going to share with the Vicodin addict. "I need to get this to the bank."

"I'll take it," House offered.

Cuddy laughed. "Ha. You would steal it just to see if you could get away with it. No. Security's going to take care of it. Get back to your office and scrounge up another case."

House mocked insult. "You mean that I don't get a day to gloat about this one?"

Cuddy threw a new hospital file at him. "This one might be dead –hell, we'd all be dead- by the time you finished gloating." She closed the black, leather suitcase –damn, those kids knew all the stereotypes- and walked away –damn, her ass looked just as good as it did five years ago.

House did look at the file long enough to peak his curiosity.

So long, Grey boys. Hello, Perry White.

*


	10. Game Point

Game Point

By PaBurke

Disclaimer: No copyright infringement intended. I own neither of the universes nor the characters. I'm just playing because my beta is a cruel person who likes to throw ideas at me just to see what story splashes out and . . . okay so this was my idea and she begged and begged, but she can't manipulate like House.

That's my job.

Distribution: The Nook

Spoilers: All of JLU and Batman, and Batman and Robin are up for grabs. We'll say, before the end of Season 3 for House

Rating: If you can't watch House MD, go away!

Word Count: 200

House was feeling pretty good about himself. He had managed to diagnosis and cure a rare tropical disease in an eleven-year-old boy who had never been out of the country. He had figured out that the 'brothers' were lying about being brothers. So the 'older brother' had disappeared with the boy before the hospital would have discharged him, at least they'd paid their bill.

Now House was winning a chess game against CityKent, his three-year online nemesis. CityKent tipped over his king. House had won.

Then CityKent highlighted his move that had made House's victory possible. 'Consider this a token. The thank-you gift should be arriving shortly. Next time will be different.'

What? CityKent was saying that he had Igiven/I the match to House. Nuh-ah, no way. That would make CityKent… a master manipulator.

Or, The Master Manipulator the 'Grey' boys had alluded to.

"House!" Cuddy stomped into his office. "I told you no new diagnostic equipment-'best on the market' or not-. I'm trying to work it into the budget for next year. What possessed you to order it?!?"

House tipped an imaginary hat to The Master. "Since it's here, we can at least open it and peak, right?"

"House!"

*


End file.
